A Joint Effort: How to Plan Together and Make it Work
Photo by flickr-rickr
Although traditionally seen as “the bride’s day” your wedding is a day for both of you. Your groom has just as much right to offer input and voice his opinion. Here are a few tips on how to make wedding planning a truly mutual endeavor.
Create a Vision Together
Sit down with each other and talk about your individual vision of the wedding. Are you thinking that you’re going to invite two hundred and fifty of your friends to a grand ballroom and party all night? Does he, at the same time, imagine a more intimate affair with only immediate family? Decide what type of wedding will make you both happy and start your planning with that foundation.
Invitations
Invitations are one of the first tasks to take care of when planning a wedding and are also one of the biggest areas of discord. You may not like some of his friends and he might not like some of yours. He’s obviously only going to invite people who are important to him and because it is his wedding too, it’s important that those people are there. The same applies for you. However, it is appropriate to stand firm when ex-girlfriends or ex-boyfriends are involved. If one of you doesn’t feel comfortable with an ex in attendance, they should not be invited.
Compromise
If there are things that don’t appeal to him at all, be willing to listen and prepare yourself, you may have to give in on this one. Small details can be easily worked out. If the issues are bigger however things can be more complicated. Say you have always imagined getting married in a church and he’s completely against the idea, the two of you will need to really talk it out. Employ a little tact. Look at how strong you both feel about your choice and listen to each other’s reasoning. By doing this, both of you will be able to better understand the other’s way of thinking and be closer to an agreement.
Know Your Strengths and Your Weaknesses
Divide up wedding tasks by deciding who is better at specific jobs. If one of you is really good at organization then put that person in charge of receipts, contracts, and other important papers. If the other person has a real eye for décor and how things should look, they should take care of decorations. It’s important to remember that just because someone may be “in charge” doesn’t mean that the other has waived all rights to input.
Eat, Drink and Be Merry
Make wedding chores such as cake and food tasting a fun event. Plan one entire day around this task and spend the day drinking champagne, testing dozens of cakes, and sampling some of the food that your caterer can provide. This is a great way to get both of you involved in the planning and have fun at the same time!
Get Something You Both Want
While you will probably be ready to fill your registry up with linen, china, and kitchen appliances (the sensible things), there may be some things he wants on there as well. If there are entertainment items such as DVD players or a new gaming system, include those in your registry too. The gifts that you receive for your wedding are to be owned and enjoyed by both of you so there’s no reason to have them tailored to one specific interest.
Be Entertained Together
Whether you are having a live band or a DJ, choosing the entertainment for your wedding can be made into a fun date for the two of you. If you are having a band, pick a week where you can go out and listen to all kinds of different music from local acts. If you’re having a DJ, have them audition for you together.
Make Time for Quality Time
While wedding planning can be a fun experience for both of you, it can also be very stressful and have you clambering down each other’s throats at times. Take a break and go out on a date, just the two of you, where there’s no talk of the wedding. There was more to your relationship before the engagement and there’s still more to your lives now. Reconnect and rejuvenate by taking a breather and spending some time just being together.
