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Coming up with a fair household budget may sound like a major buzz kill on the honeymoon romance but the truth is that money is the number one issue in marriage. If you can’t sort out your finances quickly, you risk landing yourself in marital trouble.

Don’t assume your new husband will take on certain financial responsibilities and don’t allow either of you to be blamed for any debt brought into the marriage. You married for love, not money. The important thing is to know where you stand financially, together as a married couple and that you determine a fair household budget to help you stay afloat.

Determine a Time Period that Works for You

Set the times that work for you, such as around pay days. Most budgets are worked out on a monthly basis but if you find it easier to deal with things in 2-week increments, do that instead. The concept works the same way, except that you will be basing all of your income and expenses, on a 2-week time period rather than a 4-week time period. Playing around with your budget a bit can make it work better for you and take pressure off of everyone.

Track Expenses

Once you’ve decided on a time period, use it to track your daily expenses. So if you decide on a biweekly budget, spend two weeks tracking every dollar that you spend. That means every dollar! If you buy coffee in the morning, write it down.

Once the time period is up, separate them into categories and put these categories into your budget. You can then budget for those expenses and determine which can be eliminated.

This is one of the biggest areas where it’s important to remain fair while drawing up your budget. There’s no reason why one person should be buying coffee every day on their way to work while another is scrimping and saving every dollar.

Some expenses you can’t track in the same way, such as household bills. However, these usually come at regular intervals so that you can use your previous bill to make an estimate of how much you will need to cover future bills.

Make sure you’re honest and clear about what you’re spending your money on and what expenses you are comfortable reducing or eliminating. Both of you need to be happy. Neither should have to sacrifice much more than the other.

It’s a Contract

It’s important to write your budget down. Not only does it help you stick to it but it makes you responsible to it, and to the other members of your household. Every person in the household needs to know the budget and where they fall within it and should they need to make adjustments, every other person in the household needs to be aware of, and in agreement with, those adjustments. Going against the budget once it’s already been determined only tells the other people in your home that you are disregarding their feelings, or their place within the budget.

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Even for the most liberal-minded couples, each person is going to enter a marriage with some expectation of what their role will be and what role their spouse will take on. You may think that these assumptions have been made, given the fact that you’ve each seen each other’s lifestyles and have an idea of what to expect from the other person, but the fact is that differences may arise, and if they do they will do so quickly.

Realizing the Difference is not an Attack

Perhaps you’ve always had a career and so you assumed that you and your husband both understood that you would keep that career once you were married and that you would then divvy up the household chores equally, both being working people. The problem comes when your new husband expected that you would keep your career but you would also do the dishes every night while he mowed the lawn every weekend. The problem is not in the big picture, it’s in the details and it’s a situation that even the most well-meaning couples and people can get into.

Although this is something that needs to be discussed and fixed, the problem is only aggravated if one party becomes defensive because they were given a role they did not ask for. The reason for the defensive reaction is simple. It may appear as though one of you is trying to make the other into something they’re not. While this is most definitely not the intent, it’s what it can seem like from the other side. Maybe you assumed that your husband would be taking care of the financial matters, (as that’s what was traditionally done) and your new hubby becomes upset because the assumption is there that he will be under the most pressure to provide for the family. Again, the difference of expectation is not an insult or attack in any way, it’s simply a mindset that one person had that the other doesn’t. The important thing is not to get upset and take it personally but rather talk about your expectations so that you can both try to fill each other’s while still remaining true to who you are as individuals.

Talk, Compromise, and Change your Thinking

When one has expectations that another feels they can’t, or shouldn’t have to, fulfill, the first thing that must be done is for both of you to change your thinking and begin talking about how you can compromise to make sure that you are both getting what you need from the marriage.

Once you’ve both realized that the expectation is not something that to should feel you have to live up to, that you won’t be judged if you don’t, and once you both start talking, fair compromise can take place.

Before the Wedding

If you plan on changing your name it’s important that you let people know such as your family and wedding party. They can pass the word on should people ask about getting gifts monogrammed or engraved. You should also let your work know that you will be changing your name in case they need to change your email address or business cards.

After the Wedding

Once the ceremony is over you should file your paperwork regarding the name change as soon as you receive your marriage license in the mail. The first thing you should change is your Social Security card, which can be done by obtaining a form from their website or you can visit an office in your area and complete the paperwork there. Either way you need to take the form to the office yourself as well as your driver’s license or other identification, and the marriage license. You will then need to check with the DMV to see if they require your new Social Security card before changing your driver’s license. Some DMV’s only require the marriage certificate while others require your new card.

The rest of your paperwork can be done after this. You will first want to check with work in case they need documentation for changing anything else, such as financial information and for tax returns. You can then worry about your insurance company, the bank, credit card companies, utilities, and all other people and companies you do business with. For each of these, print off a form letter with the company’s name at the top and your new information including your new name, your address, and account number as well as your maiden name. Also remember to order new credit cards and checks that show your new name.

Getting Comfortable With It

It’s difficult to start going by a name different than the one you’ve carried your entire life but once you’ve changed your name it’s important that you start using it so that you can become accustomed to how it sounds. If people mistakenly call you by your maiden name, politely explain that you were just married and correct them with your new name.

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The average wedding costs approximately $26,000. No wonder many couples find themselves entering their new marriage in debt. Money troubles are the number one cause of marital discord and you don’t want them hanging over your new marriage. Here’s how to enjoy your life as newlyweds free from the shackles of debt.

First determine how much money was given as a wedding present. Many guests give money rather than a registry item. Instead of using this money on your honeymoon, or on other things that you want to buy, save yourself some interest charges and put that money towards your debt as soon as possible.

Put off the honeymoon. Couples are beginning to do this more and more as they see the advantages of starting their life together with a good cash flow. If you really want to go away with your sweetie directly after the wedding, consider going to a bed and breakfast somewhere within the country above jetting off abroad. This is extremely romantic and allows you to enjoy some alone time together without driving yourselves further into debt.

Sit down with your new spouse and create a budget. Every penny you make cannot possibly go towards paying off your wedding as you still have all of your regular bills and living expenses as well. Creating a budget will tell you how much you can afford to pay every month and where that money will be distributed. After setting your budget, it’s extremely important that you stick to it.

When you are putting the figures down onto paper, see what loans have the highest interest rate. Usually these are credit cards with interest rates being as high as twenty-one percent! It’s important that you pay these off quickly otherwise, you will end up collecting huge interest charges every month and it will become increasingly harder for you to clear your debts. The next step is to pay off the loans with the largest amount. Decreasing the loan amount decreases your interest and the loan will become more reasonable, changing from the one that doesn’t seem as though it will ever be paid off to the one that can be paid off next month!

If the bills seem too overwhelming, seek professional help from a financial consultant. These people you can meet with to review all of your income and expenses and will help you allocate where your money should be going on a monthly basis. Remember an objective third party does not have the same emotional attachment to your money you do. Once they have given you a plan, make sure that you follow it.

The most important thing when it comes to wedding debt is not to argue about it. It makes it very difficult on a new marriage when you not only have money troubles but are also fighting over them. You both enjoyed a wonderful day and you’ve both got to determine how you’re going to pay for it, together. Getting into a game of “Well you needed the most expensive (insert item here)” isn’t going to help anyone and will just add fuel to an already blazing fire. You have a lifetime ahead of you, having to figure out how things are going to be paid for. Now is the time to find out how you work together to solve the problem.

Photo by Pear Biter

Buying your first home as a married couple is a very exciting experience and a major one that will affect you for many years to come. It may be tempting to get caught up in the excitement of looking at homes and ‘ooh-ing’ and ‘aaw-ing’ over things as simple as an island in the kitchen, but you also need to take into consideration what your future needs of the home will be. This allows you to make a decision that you will be happy with in 2, 5, or 10 years time.

What are Future Family Plans?

If you and your spouse don’t have children while you are considering buying a home, you need to consider whether you will while you are living in the home that you are purchasing. Don’t only consider things such as additional bedrooms but also think about the quality of schools nearby.

Where will you be Living in the Future?

Some couples choose to buy a first home, knowing that they will only be there short-term, before moving on to something else, perhaps in an entirely different region. If you think this is you, try to get a good idea of where you might be living in the future (not always possible), geographically-speaking, so that you can determine whether you will need a home that you will meet your needs for the two years, or the next ten.

Don’t Get in Over your Head

Deciding on a home that will meet your future needs isn’t all about having extra bedrooms or residing in school districts, it’s also about deciding on a home that will fit in nicely with your future financial plans. It is very exciting to look at beautiful homes and picture the life you could have within them but you also need to remember that you’re mortgage is not going to be the only future expense you have and so, you need to keep a level head when thinking about the price of your first home.

To determine what you will be able to afford financially in the future, you will need to think of things such as your job security, whether you expect to be promoted or maintain the same professional status over the next short time and whether or not you will be adding to your family. There are no doubt many financial factors to consider when buying a first home but it’s also important to remember that your family factors, what your family will be doing in the next few years and what their needs and goals will be, are also major factors.