Know Who to Invite

Before you decide on who is going to come to the engagement party, you should know who is going to be coming to the wedding, or at least have a general idea of some people that absolutely will be there. This is because etiquette states that no one that is not invited to the wedding should be invited to the engagement party, so that you can avoid hurt feelings and people feeling left out. That being said, not everyone who is invited to the wedding needs to be invited to the engagement party.

Registering and Gifts

Many people don’t know whether to register for the engagement party or not and while it’s certainly okay, and actually encouraged to register with at least one retailer, it’s certainly not okay to tell people where you are registered. Use your parents and your closest friends to spread the word about where you are registered. If you do it yourself, you will look like you are asking for gifts. It’s also important to exclude any registry information or gift information from the invite.

Although it’s not to be expected from guests that they bring gifts to the engagement party, many will in order to offer their congratulations. After accepting them, thank the guest profusely and tell them that you will be opening gifts after the party. As you are opening all the gifts, be sure to keep track of who gave what so that you can send them a thank-you note and specifically mention their gift. It’s also important to send thank-you notes to those who came but didn’t bring a gift. They took time out from their lives to help you celebrate and it’s nice to let them know that you recognize that.

Time to Pay

If you decide to hold your engagement party in a restaurant it’s important to understand that you are responsible for the bill. You invited your guests and so it’s rude to ask them to pay. If this is too pricey an option for you, consider having the party at your house or a friend’s.

When it Comes to Toasting

Your engagement party will be the first of many in the wedding planning process where you will be able to test your toasting skills. When people offer their congratulations in a toast to you, don’t raise your glass. There’s no need to toast yourself. It’s also proper to stand up after a person has toasted you and respond in kind.

Who Pays?

Traditionally it is the groom’s parents that pay for the rehearsal dinner however many couples are starting to choose to pay for this themselves as a token of thanks for all of their parent’s hard work and support. If this is something that you are considering, you must ask the groom’s parents before making any decisions regarding the rehearsal dinner. They may really want to pay for the dinner and if that’s the case, you should let them. They only want to help in the celebration too and you can certainly find another nice way to thank them.

Who and When

The rehearsal dinner is generally one of the smaller parties related to wedding planning. Generally the only people invited are the bride and groom’s parents, the wedding party, the officiate, and any other close friends or family that the bride and groom feel should be there.

The rehearsal dinner is usually held the night before the actual wedding and after the rehearsal ceremony. Doing it this way makes it easier to get everyone together, especially if people in the wedding party are coming from out of town, because they will already be there for the wedding. If you hold the rehearsal dinner immediately after the rehearsal ceremony, it’s a nice idea to have a cocktail hour first. This will give your guests a chance to relax and mingle before going straight to more festivities. Some couples choose to have a reception afterwards, especially if their rehearsal dinner is quite large, but make sure it won’t run too late. Everyone has a big day the next day!

Toasting and Thank you’s

The bride and groom should take time after dinner to make separate toasts to their parents. During the toast they should thank them for all of their love, support, and help, as well as anything else that they want to say. The couple should also toast the wedding party in a separate toast. The wedding party has many responsibilities during the course of planning the wedding and the wedding itself so it’s important to make special mention of it.

The rehearsal dinner is when the bride and groom will bring gifts for their parents as well as the wedding party to the rehearsal dinner. This is again a nice way to thank them for helping make the big day happen! It also allows them to wear things such as cufflinks and earrings to the wedding, should the gifts be wedding jewelry, which is also quite common.

Rice Bowl

This is a game that can get pretty competitive and rowdy! Fill a large mixing bowl half full with rice and drop into it 30 – 50 miniature cinnamon red hearts. Have each guest put on a blindfold and try to get as many small red hearts as they can. This game has it all – competition, physicality, and plenty of laughs! Whoever has the most red hearts at the end is the winner!

Wedding Dress

Divide the guests up into 2 different teams with the bride acting as judge. Each group will choose one person to dress up as a bride – but the catch is that they will dress them in toilet paper! Have the guests wrap the paper around the ‘bride’ for her dress, use it to make a headpiece, and even make an engagement ring with it! Set a timer and when it dings, have the bride choose the winning team!

Trivia

Trivia is always a fun way to get people talking and laughing and there are many different ways to play trivia as part of a bridal shower. Have a bride fill out a questionnaire about herself and then give guests pieces of paper with the same questions on it, except tailored to the bride (so with ‘her’ instead of ‘you’ in the questions). Collect the guests’ answers at the end and whoever has the most questions that match the bride’s wins!Another really fun way to play a trivia game is to call the groom beforehand and ask him a number of questions. When it’s time for the game, explain that you will ask the bride the questions and see how many she gets right. Give everyone an index card and have them guess at how many she will get right. Whoever guesses right or the closest, wins!

Who Am I?

Before the party, write down the names of famous couples on index card, one to a card. For instance, write ‘Brad Pitt’ on one card and ‘Angelina Jolie’ on another. Before the game, tape one index card to each guest’s back without letting them see what the name on the card is. During the game guests must ask each other ‘yes’ and ‘no’ questions trying to determine who they are – with no one telling each other! The first couple to find each other wins!

Video Memory

This one isn’t so much a game but it sure is something nice for the bride! Set up a video camera in a separate room and ask guests to stop in before they leave. When guests come in, one at a time, ask them to leave a special message for the bride and leave their wedding and marriage wishes and advice! When the party is over, give the tape to the bride as a memento she’ll always have!

Wine and Cheese Shower

Having a wine and cheese shower is a wonderfully elegant way to spend an afternoon and decorations for this one are easy! Pick a country or region, such as Napa Valley or Bordeaux, France and decorate the room with the country’s flags. Set up small circular tables with two café-style seats at each and place 2 wine bottles with custom labels printed with each guest’s name at the tables. You’ve added to the décor and put out place settings at the same time! Of course, the wine and cheese will act as decorations themselves by simply grouping together bottles of wine and setting out cutting boards with piles of cheese held on top. Get creative strategically placing loaves of bread and bunches of grapes around the room!

Hawaiian Luau

A Hawaiian luau is a really fun way to throw a bridal shower and you can do this indoors or out, with just about any tropical menu that you wish! One great way to do it is to bring the guests outside and put them under a large tent. Have a pig roast with lots of tiki torches, orchids and birds of paradise and remember that everything from name cards to napkins should be in the brightest pinks, greens, and oranges that you can find! Remember to give each guest a lei and stick pink flamingos around the lawn! You can also buy inflatable palm trees and place cut-outs of palm trees and tropical plants around the room.

Lingerie Shower

Lingerie showers are quickly climbing to the top of the list of most popular bridal shower ideas. Although it may seem like all eyes are on the gifts, the proper décor is essential here to put people at ease and get everyone in the mood to be a little bit sexy! Toss around huge throw pillows and create a bedroom environment by placing lacy, velvety, or feathered things about the room. A small vanity can be a great touch, especially if it’s vintage, and can also act as an area to place gifts or party munchies! Flowers also cannot be forgotten in the lingerie shower and there needs to be lots of them! Nothing says romance more than the fragrant scent of blooms filling the air so buy them all in white or use the wedding colors – here’s a chance to get really creative!

Tropical Shower Cake

If the couple is planning a destination wedding and you’re throwing the shower before they go or when they return, a tropical shower cake perfectly complements their choice! Have a cake designer start with asheet cake and then decorate it with blue waves, a setting sun, and flip flops. Scrawl across it, “Happy Trails!” or “Congrats to the Newlyweds!”

A Bride Cake

Another kind of bridal shower cake that’s becoming very popular is the Bride Cake. With this design, a plastic doll (such as a Barbie)stands in the center where she is surrounded by her dress – which is really mounds of cake and icing! The doll is only visible from the waist up but it’s a nice touch to dress her up like a bride in a wedding gown and veil and to have the ’skirt’ be decorated as a wedding gown too!

Tiered Cakes

Formal events do call for something such as the tiered cake butthis is a far cry from being locked into one design! You can decorate atiered cake just about any way you choose so whether you want presents adorning the sides, long ribbons flowing down, or the icing to be checkered in your wedding colors for a really bold look, it can be done!

Miniature Heart Cakes

Cupcakes can be a really cute way to serve cake at a bridal shower and you can even put your own spin on this! Start by making heart-shaped cupcakes or asking a baker to. Have them decorated in red, pink, and white icing with lots of heart-shaped sprinkles on top. Place them all on a cupcake tree and set it out for everyone to fawn over!

A Picture Cake

No matter what kind of bridal shower you’re having or what the tone is, a picture cake is always a great way to celebrate the upcoming nuptials. Simply choose a great picture of the couple and take it to a baker. All you have to do is decide on the kind of cake and icing and you’ll get a beautiful cake with your picture on top!

Etiquette

Just because tradition is bending the rules and allowing for couple’s showers doesn’t mean that it bends the rules in the other areas of bridal shower etiquette. This means that there’s still no inviting people who aren’t invited to the wedding, and there’s also no announcing where your registered. The couple’s shower is still meant as a time to celebrate the couple and for family and friends to get together. It’s not a time to ask for gifts.

A Toast to the Couple

This type of shower is meant to fill the couple’s bar. It’s wise for the couple to register for things such as champagne flutes, martini mixers, and other glasses that would look great dangling above the couple’s bar. Décor is easy for this one! Simply place ice buckets around the room with different wines and liqueurs chilling in them and also set out different cheeses, nuts, fruit, and other munchies. Everyone makes a toast to the couple and for more fun, you can even videotape it so the couple can have a special memory of the day!

Honeymoon Shower

For this type of shower, guests are asked to bring items that the couple can use on their honeymoon. If they’re going somewhere warm, someone could bring a basket of sunscreen, sunglasses, a bikini and swim trunks! A great spin on the honeymoon shower is to register at a travel agency and have the guests pay for a portion of, or all, of your honeymoon as your present! This is becoming more and more popular, especially among couples who lived together for awhile before getting married.

Traditional Shower Ideas

Just because you’re throwing a couple’s shower doesn’t mean that you have to toss out the traditional shower ideas, especially if there’s one that you or the bride really loves. With just a little imagination any bridal shower idea can be tweaked to fit a couple’s shower. Have you always wanted to throw a lingerie bridal shower? Throw a lingerie couple’s shower and have gifts for the man directed towards smoking jackets, silk pajamas, and silk boxing shorts!

Invitations

For any themed party you need to set the stage with the invitations and it’s really fun to do this with a country western shower! Using a scroll of thick stationary stock, print out a “Wanted” poster and roll the piece of paper up. Top it off by tying a bandana around it and if you want to get really ambitious, place it in a small cowboy hat and hand deliver each invite. Ask each guest to wear the hat to the party.

Cowbells are another great way to get invitations for the party out. To do this, buy small cowbells at a novelty store and paint the name of the guest on the outside. Write out the details of the shower on a piece of paper and attach it to the bell inside.

Décor

The decorations are one of the most fun parts of planning a country and western bridal shower. At the entrance place some real bales of hay if you can get them and a sign reading something such as, “John and Jason’s O.K. Corral.” If you can get some old shutters to place up like a saloon door, this is an even nicer touch! Once your guests come inside, give them a ‘Yee-Haw’ and give them a sheriff’s badge with their name on it!

Place up along the walls pictures of some favorites from the Old West and famous country singers such as Billy the Kid, Butch Cassidy, Sundance Kid, June Carter Cash, Johnny Cash, and Patsy Cline. Among these pictures also hang ‘Wanted’ posters with the happy couple as the ‘criminals’! You can also put up along the walls cutouts of cactuses and other desert plants and make sure you hang a ‘Cowboy’ or ‘Cowgirl’ sign on the bathroom doors!

Nothing sets the stage like music and the case couldn’t be truer for country western music! Play some of your favorite country CDs and make sure that you clear lots of room on the dance floor for some good old fashioned two-steppin’!

Menu

Generally food from the Old West is considered to be appropriate for a country western theme. To do this you could serve grilled treats from the barbecue such as steak, hamburgers, and ribs. Don’t forget to offer lots of grilled veggies for your vegetarian guests and serve up lots of slaw on the side! Lay out bowls of corn chips and salsa and if you’re serving alcohol, be sure to serve it in Mason jars just as they do back in the Ol’ West! If you’re not serving alcohol at your party, still use the Mason jars but fill them up with root beer floats!