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There are few better ways to personalize your wedding and make it truly about the love shared between the two of you than writing your own vows. While this is an exciting thought for many, it can also be terrifying. In theory it sounds good but what do you say? Where do you start? And are you really going to be able to reveal your innermost thoughts and feelings to the large group of wedding guests sitting behind you? If you want to write your own vows, it can be done with just a little organization and a big heart!

The first thing you need to do is to talk to your future spouse and your ceremony officiant. Make sure it is what you both want and that it is actually allowed.

Once everyone is on board, sit down by yourself in a place with little distractions and start putting your thoughts down on paper. This is usually where people run into the most trouble. They know what they feel in their heart but they don’t know how to put that into words. To get yourself started, ask these questions:

• What do you think is the very best thing about your fiancé?

• When did you know that you were in love with him?

• What does this marriage mean for you and why are you doing it?

• Will anything change once you are married?

• What will remain the same?

• What is your favorite memory of the two of you?

Not all or any of the answers to these questions have to be in the final draft of your wedding vows but it will get your creativity flowing and will give you a good place to start from.
Now is the time to put all of your thoughts and ideas into coherent wedding vows. Write it out in sentences and then go back and organize them so that they flow more freely and are understandable.  Choose the best of what you’ve written and it will be easy to fill in any blanks that you notice might be missing.

Remember they are vows so it’s important that you make promises to your partner, not just reflect on the time that you have shared. Promise to be faithful, to make each other laugh and to spend the rest of your lives together. After some touching and perhaps funny anecdotes, it’s important to make this commitment to your fiancé.

Once you are happy with what your vows look like, practice by saying them out loud to a family member or a friend. It would be best if you could choose someone that reads or writes a lot as they will be able to pick up on the small details that may sound out of place. Once you have read it aloud to someone else, practice saying it over and over again to yourself. You will probably be very nervous on the big day and the more familiar you are with them, the easier it will be.

You can try and memorize them if you want but it’s really not necessary. Even if you do spend a lot of time practicing and you feel as though you have them memorized, always have them written down so that you can refer to them if your nerves get the best of you. Give the notes to your maid-of-honor so she can pass them to you subtly beforehand.

Even if you are an excellent public speaker, everyone gets a little nervous on their wedding day. Try to remain calm. Remember that no one is going to laugh at you or think that you are silly. Whatever you have written, it’s going to be truly touching to everyone present. Speak from the heart, take your time and it will all work out!

Simply make a Promise

Some couples make vows to the children just as they make vows to each other, by simply promising them your love and commitment and a wonderful life together. This is certainly a fine way to do it just make sure that you put the promises into your own words and that they are words that a child could understand. Simply tell them how much you love them and their mom/dad and how much you want to be a part of their family. If you share children with your new bride or groom, simply tell them that you love each other and your family so much that you want to make it official that all of you will be together forever.

Exchange Actual Vows

This can be a very cute take on the traditional ceremony and is usually done when one person in the couple is becoming a step-parent to a child through the marriage. Therefore, a stepdad might make a promise to his new stepdaughter or a stepmom to her new stepson. These obviously will not be traditional vows but should be something that is personal and unique to both of you. If the daughter has complained before about you leaving the lights on around the house, promise that you’ll try to stop doing that. During these vows, even though they may be slightly off-the-cuff and playful, it’s important to still make them understand that you love them and are excited about being a family and living your life together.

Exchange Rings

This certainly isn’t a requirement but it can be nice to symbolize the exchanging of vows (or making of vows) to children with a ring, especially if the child is a girl. For a boy you can still choose a ring but if you think he would be uncomfortable with that, choose nice cuff links or a nice watch to symbolize the day and the commitment you’ve made to them.

Don’t Set Ground Rules

This is not the time to demean any child by making sure they know their place and that there are rules to be followed. Avoid statements such as, ‘You will respect her at all times,’ but instead say things such as, ‘We promise to always provide a loving and respectful home.’ This is a time to make a child feel included and loved, not to make them feel as though there’s a new sheriff in town.

1. Talk to your Fiancé
You’ve probably already come to agreement to write the vows but talk to each other about how long you want the vows to be so that one’s not running on and on while one only has a few sentences to share. Another idea you both might want to consider is writing joint vows, where you will write one set of vows for each of you to say.

2. Reminisce
It’s true that this day is one for looking to the future but there’s no doubt that it’s one that will also be filled with loving and happy memories of the past. These are the moments that got you to this place after all so reflect on your happiest times and incorporate them into your vows.

3. Include your Audience
Of course the vows are going to be most personal to you and your fiancé but include the audience too. Talk about how excited you are to become a part of her family or about how much you love sharing Sunday dinners with his family. Your guests want to enjoy the vows too, not wonder what you’re talking about.

4. Use a Poem, but Make it Personal
There’s no problem with borrowing from a poem, song, or quote but make it personal by selecting one that has special meaning to the two of you.

5. Vow to Love them Forever
This may seem obvious since you’re getting married but really pour your heart out and tell your fiancé how much you love them and why.

6. Talk about the Future
Just as you reflected on all the past happy times, tell your fiancé how excited you are about all the times to come and all that you hope to accomplish as a married couple.

7. Vow to Make them Happy
Getting married is all about sharing your life with someone you love so that you can be happy together. Promise to make them happy and to have a happy life together.

8. Make a Vow to Your Commitment
There’s no doubt that it seems in today’s day and age, ‘till death do us part,’ seems like a lost concept but it’s important that you include your own version of this into your vows. You’re making a big commitment and it’s important that you actually state that commitment to your fiancé.

9. Let your Officiate Proof your Vows
You may not like the idea of other people hearing your vows before your fiancé does but even if your officiate knows you’re writing your own vows, you should allow them to look over them to make sure that there is no inappropriate wording or anything that would offend the church, other place of ceremony, or go against any other rules.

10. Make a Cheat Sheet
Give your maid-of-honor or best man a cheat sheet of your vows. It’s understandable that you might be nervous and forget the wording of your vows. There’s no problem with turning to get your vows so that you can make sure you do it right!

If you plan to write your own wedding vows and want them to be remembered by your guests as well as your fiancé, adding a touch of humor to the meaningful words that you are saying is a great way to do it! It involves your guests much more than simply stating your love and commitment and shows everyone that this is truly a day to have fun and celebrate! It’s easy to get so stressed out throughout the wedding planning process that by the time you’re at the altar, you’re a nervous wreck. Writing funny wedding vows is a great way to remind yourself why you’re actually saying these words – because you’ve found someone that you love and that you’ll be laughing with for the rest of your life! Here are some tips on keeping your vows on the light-hearted side.

Make sure they’re Appropriate

Nothing’s funny when it’s offensive to people so make sure that your jokes are appropriate and that they won’t be offensive to anyone. As with writing any wedding vows, run them past the officiate to make sure that they are suitable and acceptable. Also don’t include anything that’s an inside joke between just the two of you. While your fiancé will find it funny, the guests will be lost and your vows won’t deliver nicely.

Funny Wedding Vow Ideas

If you’re stuck on how to get your funny wedding vows started, consider some of these ideas:

Compare your love to something else – “I love you more than I love the Detroit Red Wings.”

Promise non-essential things that are important to the other person – “I promise to always clean the barbecue grill when I’m finished using it.”

Play off your differences – “I vow to try and understand your passion for shopping.”

Refer to the wedding as a legal ceremony – “I promise to take you, Jenny, the woman I am know legally and financially responsible for, to have and to hold…”

Run it by your Betrothed

Now is not the time to keep your personally written wedding vows a surprise. Even a joke that you might think is funny and innocent could cause hurt and tears on the big day, which is the last thing you want! Be sure to let your fiancé read over and approve your vows before you say them before everyone you know.

Still Make All the Same Promises

Even though you’ve chosen the playful route of being funny with your vows, it’s important that you still keep all of the same meaning of the traditional vows. Make sure your partner knows that you will love them forever and be loyal to them forever and that you’re excited to be starting your life with them. Humor is always great to add to wedding vows but you don’t want the specialness and the meaning of the day to get lost in the jokes.

Vow renewal ceremonies are common when couples have had a destination ceremony with few or none of their friends and families present, when they are celebrating a special anniversary and want to commemorate it in a special way, or for a thousand other reasons such as the marriage has just come through a hard time and the couple wants to show each other they are better and stronger than ever. Whatever your reason is, now is the time to really celebrate your love and show how much you love being married! But how do you do it? Vow renewal ceremonies are in some ways, very much like your wedding the first time around and in other ways, very different. Find out here all the common issues that come up when planning a vow renewal ceremony.

Who and When

Technically, you can hold a vow renewal ceremony any time you want after your original wedding ceremony however, the only time it’s really appropriate to have a ceremony days, weeks, or even months afterwards is if you’ve eloped and want to celebrate with your loved ones. It’s perfectly acceptable for the couple to host the vow renewal ceremony themselves although often the children of the couple will host the ceremony as a special gift to their parents.

One of the greatest things about a vow renewal ceremony is that it’s not a ceremony that’s legally recognized; it’s simple for the enjoyment of you and your loved ones. Because of this, anyone you wish can officiate the ceremony from your best friend to your oldest son.

You can also invite whoever you would like so you can choose to have a small and intimate ceremony or a huge party, the choice is yours! It is advised that vow renewal ceremonies be reserved for very close family and friends only. It’s not considered appropriate to invite those who aren’t personal friends, such as coworkers, unless you also know them personally.

Ceremony and Reception Details

The actual ceremony will be much more unstructured than your original ceremony was. You don’t need to have a wedding party but it might be nice to ask the original party members to stand up for you in honor of the occasion. If you’ve had children since your original ceremony, you may also want them to stand up for you. Whoever you wish can also walk you down the aisle. This can also be a nice way to include your children or you could choose to walk down together! Whoever you choose, make sure you choose someone and that you don’t walk down the aisle alone.

The ceremony will be much like your original ceremony was. For the exchanging of vows, it’s especially meaningful during vow renewal ceremonies to write personal vows about how much you’ve meant to each other and how much you love your life together. You can include readings and soloists if you choose and you will exchange rings. You can exchange your original bands, but make sure you upgrade them somehow such as including a new engraving, or you can buy new bands to exchange.

Be sure to throw a reception – there’s reason to celebrate now more than ever! Include everything a traditional wedding reception would have including cake, toasts, dancing, and food! Be sure to thank everyone for all their support during your marriage.

A Word on Etiquette

It’s very important that you do not register for gifts for a vow renewal ceremony. This is a time for celebrating your love and marriage, not for redecorating your kitchen.