Wedding Vows Involving Children
When children are going to play a major role in the life that a couple will have together once they are married, it’s very common to see the children play some part in the ceremony whether they do a reading or act as the flower-girl or ring-bearer. But an even nicer way to show the children that they are a very important and special part of the ceremony is to include them in your vows. This shows that you understand you are not only making a promise to their mom or dad but to them as well. When it comes to including children in your vows, there are a few different ways you can go about it.
Simply make a Promise
Some couples make vows to the children just as they make vows to each other, by simply promising them your love and commitment and a wonderful life together. This is certainly a fine way to do it just make sure that you put the promises into your own words and that they are words that a child could understand. Simply tell them how much you love them and their mom/dad and how much you want to be a part of their family. If you share children with your new bride or groom, simply tell them that you love each other and your family so much that you want to make it official that all of you will be together forever.
Exchange Actual Vows
This can be a very cute take on the traditional ceremony and is usually done when one person in the couple is becoming a step-parent to a child through the marriage. Therefore, a stepdad might make a promise to his new stepdaughter or a stepmom to her new stepson. These obviously will not be traditional vows but should be something that is personal and unique to both of you. If the daughter has complained before about you leaving the lights on around the house, promise that you’ll try to stop doing that. During these vows, even though they may be slightly off-the-cuff and playful, it’s important to still make them understand that you love them and are excited about being a family and living your life together.
Exchange Rings
This certainly isn’t a requirement but it can be nice to symbolize the exchanging of vows (or making of vows) to children with a ring, especially if the child is a girl. For a boy you can still choose a ring but if you think he would be uncomfortable with that, choose nice cuff links or a nice watch to symbolize the day and the commitment you’ve made to them.
Don’t Set Ground Rules
This is not the time to demean any child by making sure they know their place and that there are rules to be followed. Avoid statements such as, ‘You will respect her at all times,’ but instead say things such as, ‘We promise to always provide a loving and respectful home.’ This is a time to make a child feel included and loved, not to make them feel as though there’s a new sheriff in town.
